Well, the fat man didn’t quite make it inside my house yesterday.
As a result, he wasn’t able to leave me any presents, though I wasn’t expecting anything more than coal and, given the general population’s transition towards clean/renewable energy, coal wouldn’t be worth very much anyway, so I’m ok.
There was sh*t on my roof, though, so Santa must’ve done a flyby-sh*tting with his reindeer just to spite me.
Good riddance, Santy Claus. Better luck next year, fatty.
P.S. I laced the carrots that my neighbors left out for your reindeer with a high dosage of laxatives. Enjoy the flight home, jerk!
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
