Let’s cut to the chase—turkey sucks.
Why don’t we eat chicken on Thanksgiving? Chicken tastes so much better than turkey (and also is so much HEALTHIER than turkey).
Chicken doesn’t make people feel sleepy. Turkey does. Turkey is like the morphine of bird-meats.
You know what—eliminate the gravy, too. Its only purpose is bringing some moisture to the turkey. Chicken meat is so self-sufficient that it doesn’t require any gravy.
Also, turkeys have those weird turkey necks that they call “snoods” (I’m not even joking; Google it. What a stupid name!). Chickens don’t have stupid necks because they aren’t stupid animals.
I respect chickens. I don’t respect turkeys.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
