Well, a grown woman is wearing cat ears on the train.
What are you trying to do, really?
Are you trying to trick people into thinking you’re a cat? If you are, you’re doing a terrible job on your cat impression, because you’re speaking human words rather than meowing.
You’re never going to authentically convince someone that you’re a cat. Nobody’s ever going to go, “woah, hey! That’s not a cat—that’s a person! I thought that was a cat, because the cat ears tricked me! As soon as I saw those cat ears, I just assumed it was a cat and disregarded the fact that every other one of her features is human!”
Or maybe you’re trying to tell people that you have other catlike features? Maybe you like to piss and sh*t in a box full of kitty litter? Maybe you like to clean yourself by licking your own arms and legs? Maybe you vomit the occasional fur ball? Are these the qualities that you’re “subtly” trying to display to the outside world by wearing those stupid cat ears? More importantly, will publicly broadcasting your engagement in this catlike behavior reflect well on you professionally?
“Hi [INSERT POTENTIAL EMPLOYER’S NAME], I’m a hard worker, but my main weakness is that I get easily distracted by balls of yarn and laser pointers. Oh, and also, you have to earn my love and trust—not the other way around.”
Wearing cat ears will make everybody hate you.
Mice won’t fear you because you’re wearing cat ears, so if you’re trying to ward off mice, you’re doing a bad job at that, too.
Take off the damn cat ears. You’re a person (albeit a disappointing one), so start acting like it.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
