I’ve been looking at all my faults lately to figure out where exactly I’m lacking as a person.
Believe me—I’m actually pretty solid, because I’m a pretty great person, I’ve come to realize.
That being said, I have 2 major faults.
My first major fault is that I tend to overthink things that don’t deserve overthinking, such as why people don’t use sponges instead of toilet paper (I actually moved past that idea pretty quickly, because yucky!), or why people buy toilet paper instead of smuggling it out of the McDonald’s bathroom by shoving it in their take-out bag next to the Big Mac, but underneath the 20 piece nuggets in case one of the McDonald’s employees asks you if you stole their toilet paper and stuffed it in the bag with your food, or why some countries have to throw used toilet paper in the trashcans rather than just making their sewers more powerful?
Usually, I overthink the logistics of toilet paper usage more than anything else.
My second major fault, and probably the worst of the two, is that I make sound effects for everything I do. When someone asks me to hand them something, I’ll make a “bloop” sound as the item exchanges between our hands. When I put a coffee mug down on the table, I’ll make a gunshot sound as I put it down, like “pshoo.” When I swipe my MetroCard to get on the subway, I’ll make a laserbeam sound, which I guess also sounds kind of like the gunshot “pshoo” sound effect, but slightly higher pitched.
I need to stop. This isn’t a video game—this is real life.
Stop animating mundane tasks, Michael. Stop it.
Embrace the monotonous nature of the real world by conforming to the uninteresting behaviors of the rest of these boring commuter drones.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
