Twice today, I ran into someone from my past.
Both times, being the gentlechap that I am, I smiled, nodded, and gave a quick, “what’s going on, man?”
Also, both times, the recipients of my greeting rejected me. Both times, they made direct eye contact with me (clearly acknowledging my presence) yet proceeded to ignore my kindness with silence.
I know you remember me. How many 6’6 gingers have you run into over the course of your life?
I’m one of a kind, b**ch. You know who I am—DON’T DENY IT.
Say “hi” back, or I’m going to get angry.
Going forward, I swear I’m going to start acting like you don’t exist. I’ll shun you—I’ll do it. I don’t even care.
Alternatively, I might just directly ask why you aren’t saying “hi” back.
“Um—excuse me? Do you not remember me?”
*I take off my glasses and stare into his soul menacingly*
“Does my 6’6 gingerness not jog your memory? Does this not ring a bell in your stupid, thoughtless skull? Guess what—not ‘hi.’ How’s that sound? No ‘hi’ for you.”
*I put my glasses back on, which have mysteriously transformed into sunglasses, so I look really cool*
“Later, idiot. Next time, I’ll expect you to say ‘hi,’ and maybe even get me a coffee to apologize for your negligence.”
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
