A 5’3 man just tried to confront me for “bumping into him” while we were walking in shoulder to shoulder foot-traffic.
He was 5’3.
In most countries, men of this height are considered “legal midgets.”
This little dude walked up BEHIND ME and brushed up against my left shoulder, so if anyone “bumped into” anyone, it was him into me, not vice versa.
Fortunately, I’ve grown immune to the fury of angry midgets over the years, so this was nothing new.
Not caring enough to confront him, because I’m not a jerk, I let it slide.
He wasn’t as generous.
“Hey, next time, I’m throwing my elbow into you, buddy!”
Seriously? This was no more than a shoulder brush, so I was astonished that he was even talking to me.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, next time, I’m throwing an elbow…” He gestures as if he’s about to take a swing.
I instinctively giggle at this, right in his face (which happens to be about 18 inches closer to the ground than mine, because he’s tiny). Is he going to bring a step-ladder “next time?”
I decided this warranted a proper response, so I gave him one.
“Hey, man—you bumped into me.”
He opts to begin yelling. “I don’t give a f***!”
At this point, I lost my patience. I don’t have time for this tomfoolery.
“Hahaha—ok, bozo.”
Then he turned and walked off in a different direction.
End of interchange.
How this napoleonic fool thought he could successfully win an argument with someone nearly double his size is mind-boggling to me.
Might doesn’t always makes right, but it certainly did today.
Scratch that, might usually makes right.
Scratch that too, might always makes right. Always.
The world is lucky I’m tall. I’m like a vigilante that makes the world a better place.
I’m at the top of the food chain, and just this morning I enjoyed a hearty feast of roasted angry midget. Needless to say, it was exquisite.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
