I have a new trick that I’ve been performing to impress women.
As everybody already knows, I’ve been sporting a Pilot Metropolitan fountain pen for as long as I can remember (Power to the Pen!). I never write with ballpoint pens. Anyone who does is a savage.
However, my everyday-carry pen is particularly conducive to spinning around my fingers because it has quite a bit of weight to it. Also, there aren’t any buttons or gadgets on it, which allow for smooth rotations in rapid succession.
It’s a surprisingly effective technique for attracting women (and/or the fellas—whatever you’re into; to each his/her own). I got audible gasps of astonishment today from two separate women, and both of them were significantly better looking than I am, not that I’m in a position to be turning away any women based on appearance, especially considering I have these tremendous bear paws for hands.
It’s really a mesmerizing thing to look at. A glistening fountain pen effortlessly spinning around my massive Sasquatch hands is quite the spectacle to behold.
I’d like to try my skill in front of people who’ve already witnessed the most shocking things imaginable, just to see if I could impress them.
Like, I wonder if Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps (doesn’t need to be an Olympian, though) would take one look at my pen trick and be like, “man, that’s awesome. We’re proud of you, son.” And then I’d be like, “son?” And they’d both be like, “yeah—son,” and both pat me on the back. Then, we’d have a really bonding group hug between just the three of us—nobody else.
Maybe we’d go for a jog or a swim after that to get a good workout in. If Lance Armstrong decides to show up after we have lunch, we could probably bang out a mini-triathlon, because they’d each be specialists in one leg of the triathlon. Although, if we just had a ham & cheese quiche prior to that, we might need to give it some time to digest, so we don’t cramp up.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
