The mascot of Penn State is a mountain lion (more specifically, a “nittany lion”), but when you sit down to take a long look at it, it’s nearly indistinguishable from your run-of-the-mill housecat.
Even if it is a mountain lion, mountain lions are basically the same thing as cats. I’d fight a mountain lion in hand-to-paw combat on a dare; it’s really not that impressive of an animal.
I’m not crapping on the school itself in the slightest— Penn State is a great school and its graduates go on to do great things (I’m guessing; I don’t really KNOW this for a fact; I’m more just saying this to save myself from the potential hellfire that can (and will) rain down on me if people think I’m insulting their school, which again, I’m not).
I’m just crapping on the school’s MASCOT, which you can’t be offended by because, all jokes aside, it’s a BAD mascot.
I hate mountain lions, but not because I’m scared of them. They’re just glorified housecats when you boil it down to the essentials, and I already hate cats, so there you go (why should I have to earn YOUR love and trust? You’re just a stupid animal. I have a 401K—do you? Do you have a 401K? I bet you don’t… stupid housecat. Why don’t you take a bath instead of licking yourself like a savage? Instead of sh*tting in a box, why don’t you try a toilet, for Christ’s sake?).
Now, if their mascot was a Bengal Tiger, I’d wholeheartedly approve. THAT is a great animal, and I’m legitimately terrified of it (I bet it doesn’t lick itself clean either, though again, I’m not sure).
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
