I think cheap people are my least favorite group of people.
There’s nothing less attractive to me than someone who tips poorly for exceptional service.
When I cover a bill for a big group and individuals Venmo or PayPal me their respective allotments of the bill, there’s nothing that I respect less than someone who either doesn’t include the tip or doesn’t include a GENEROUS tip.
People work hard, man.
If somebody gives you wonderful service, tip them. Tip them well.
If somebody gives you not such great service, tip them, but don’t tip them TOO well.
If somebody gives you AWFUL service, confront them. Ask them, word-for-word, “what’s up your tookus, bozo?” If they apologize, tip them well. If they don’t apologize, confront their manager, asking them, word-for-word, “what’s up your employee’s tookus, bozo?” If they apologize profusely, tip 20%. If they apologize, but nonchalantly, tip 10%. If they reinforce their employee’s poor service, don’t bother tipping- the establishment should be shut down immediately.
This is a pretty rock-solid guide to tipping, I think. If you follow my guidance to a tee, I’ll appreciate you more as a person, and that’s a promise.
I pick up on these things, you know.
I’ll be sitting on the other side of the restaurant—I’ll still know how much you’re tipping.
I’m very observant.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
