Do you ever wonder if you’re already dead?
Sometimes, when I’m enjoying a suspiciously long streak of good luck (which very rarely happens anyway), I’ll think to myself, “ok, I definitely got into a car accident earlier and died, and that’s why I feel so happy right now—because I’m finally at eternal rest.”
Then, I’ll look for imperfections in my reality to disprove the whole “having died” thing. Sometimes, it takes a few minutes to sort of “come back down” and realize that I’m actually still here.
Woah, a promotion? Woah, Taco Bell for dinner? Woah, a compliment from a halfway-decent looking woman?
With all this good luck, I must be dead.
Seriously—am I dead? Did I not wake up today? Is this the afterlife?
Ok, time to retrace my steps. What has gone WRONG today?
Did I burn my tongue on my coffee? Nope, it went down REAL easy.
Did I get stuck in traffic? Nope, I breezed through the parkway and made great time.
Did I get into a fight with my brother? Nope, we’re best friends and had an excellent hug this morning.
Huh, maybe I really am dead.
*phone chimes.*
“Yeah, you got Mike here. (pause) Wait, what? (pause) No. You can’t do this to me. (pause) Do you have permission to do this?! (pause) Who gave you—(pause) No. Who gave you—(pause) Excuse me! Who gave you permission to—(pause) well, that’s not going to work for me. (pause) No, it will not. (pause) I don’t care. (pause) Fine, put her on. (pause) Yeah, it’s me. (pause) Absolutely not! (pause) Fine, call the police; they’ll be on my side anyway! (pause) Yeah, you just watch, then! (pause) Don’t even bother—I could find you in a second! (pause) No, that wasn’t a threat. (pause) Don’t do that—no. (pause) I’m coming over there right now. (pause) I don’t care if he’s there, too; I’m coming over RIGHT NOW!”
And as simple as that, you realize that you’re still alive. Your heart is still beating, your lungs are still beating (if that’s a thing that lungs do), and your blood is still beating (again, not sure if that’s a thing that blood does).
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
