Here comes another bathroom rant (two days in a row—what up!).
From now on, instead of having sinks to wash our hands in the restroom, we should have disposable, single-use diapers for each of our hands. Basically, they’d be diapers, but for our hands. Each finger will be diapered. We’ll be sure to diaper every last single square inch of hand skin.
We won’t have to waste money on soap; we won’t have to pour clean water down the drain. We’ll all have biodegradable hand-diapers to fertilize the environment and conserve our natural resources.
After the urination/dumping process is complete, there will be two industrial-sized electric hooks on the wall that can each grab one of your hand-diapers, yanking it off for you to prevent the spread of any germs.
Then, the hand-diapers will be dropped down a chute, into a massive garbage sack (like Santa’s gift sack in The Polar Express), which will be airlifted to the middle of the ocean, dropped in the water, doused in hundreds of gallons of gasoline, and ignited by an ember from a cigarette that the helicopter pilot lit earlier.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
