Well, I’ve had some time to recuperate after “the urinal incident” (for those who aren’t aware of “the urinal incident,” please see The Daily Clot dated 04/01/2019).
Train etiquette is an issue that I think the world needs to formally acknowledge. We need to pump train etiquette out into the world, ironically, the same way one would pump diesel into the trains themselves.
For those who may not know, the LIRR train cars are lined with rows of 2 seats on one side, an aisle in the middle, and 3 seats on the other side. When available, I opt for an open 3-seater (I need to stretch my daddy long legs).
Today, there were plenty of open seats. PLENTY. Open 2-seaters and 3-seaters galore. It was amazing.
I seized one of the open 3-seaters, took the window seat, and rested my bag on the middle seat (normally I wouldn’t do this out of consideration to those who would otherwise stand, but MOST of the train was empty, so there was no reason to not rest my backpack on the seat next to me).
A girl sits in the aisle seat in the 3-seater I’m in.
Seriously?
This might sound like nothing at first glance, but there’s literally more open seats than occupied seats on the train. It is normal human behavior to take an entirely open seat and only share when you need to, right?
“Oh, please move your bag,” she asks me quietly.
I am shocked.
“Are you- are you joking?”
She’s visibly annoyed. Then, she’s verbally annoyed.
“I asked nicely.”
I am so blown away by the absurdity of her request.
“Why did you have to sit in this 3-seater? There are about 20 open seats, and only 3 with people in them, and you chose to sit in one of the 3 seats that has a person in it. If you were blind and chose any seat at random, you’d have, like, a 15% chance of sitting with another passenger. But you can see, so what’s your excuse?!”
“I’m trying to charge my phone.” She points at the outlet on the bottom of the seat. “This is the only seat in the car with an outlet.”
“I feel like it’s still not normal to charge your phone at the expense of betraying certain social rules, though!”
“What social rules? What are you talking about?”
“You know what, if you could just let me out, that’d be great.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Yeah, I want to sit somewhere else.”
She scoffs, then stands up and gestures at me to walk away.
I slide across the row, entering the aisle and exiting the seat. I turn and look at her. “Have a real nice day.”
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
