Sometimes, I wish I was more aggressive.
I’m certainly capable of aggression, and many are intimidated by my large frame and no-nonsense attitude, but I never make the first move in these situations.
I always wait until the other party initiates a confrontation, and then I intervene with no hesitation.
It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally people will throw your run-of-the-mill threat my way.
“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, big guy?”
I’ve heard only 3 people say this to me in my life.
All three times, I’ve gotten the best of the interchange.
Here’s the key: you never explicitly throw shade back at them. When you’re a man of my stature and as confident in your own abilities as I am, you let your body language take over.
Arms crossed, I stare deep into his soul, head tilted slightly at a downward angle, allowing me to look at him from above my glasses frame. I raise both my eyebrows slowly.
“Fine, man. Sorry.”
I grunt back a grumble of approval.
That’s it. I win.
The thing is, you need to intimidate the individual as much as possible without crossing the line into blunt insults.
Here’s the thing—you need to be bigger than the person you’re intimidating. In 2 of the 3 situations I described, the person was shorter than me, but totally could’ve whacked me because they each had a group of friends with them! I mean, come on. It wouldn’t have been fair, but they could’ve taken me out. Regardless, I was taller than him, and that was enough.
In addition, unabashed confidence adds the appearance of 1 inch of height for every inch above 5’10 you are. So, if you’re 6’1 (that’s 3 inches above 5’10) and confident, you appear 6’4 (3 inches above 6’1). If you’re 6’3 (5 inches above 5’10) and confident, you appear 6’8 (5 inches above 6’3). By this (indisputable) logic, I must appear to stand at 7’4, which is pretty crazy. Unfortunately, if you’re below 5’10, no amount of confidence can alter your appearance. If you’re 4’9 and incredibly confident, it comes across as more Napoleonic/angry than truly confident. Sorry.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
