Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Though I have Irish blood, I consider St. Patty’s Day to be one of my three least favorite holidays.
There are three holidays that I hate with a burning passion: Halloween, New Year’s, and St. Patty’s Day.
There are positive aspects to all three, but overall, I’ve come to wish that none of these existed.
Halloween is just an excuse to eat candy and drink. Also, I hate having to dress up in a costume. I’m a man who commands respect. How can I command respect when I’m dressed like Willy Wonka? Can’t do it, don’t like it, refuse to participate in it.
New Year’s is also just as underwhelming. The only thing that’s changing is the month and year. We don’t have to have parties over it. Are you really that excited about all the upcoming typos every time you write or type the year it was 3 days ago? No, I didn’t think so.
That brings us to St. Patty’s Day, a holiday that I loved when I was younger. I used to love watching the parade, but now, I find that everybody is way too preoccupied with the drinking aspect. Sure, have a couple cold ones, fine, but don’t make a fool out of yourself. It’s a Sunday, for God’s sake. There are children—everywhere— who are just trying to enjoy the parade.
Today, I was on the 2 train and, by God, I’ve only ever smelled anything worse twice in my life.
The train was completely empty; people were deliberately choosing to wait for the next train because this one was so messy.
I walked in to see beer cans and all other kinds of trash scattered around the floor.
The train, and I’m not exaggerating at all, smelled like human and horse waste. This was almost indistinguishable from the smell of a barnyard densely freckled with manure.
How, on God’s good earth, in the name of all things sacred, can human beings leave such an awful, AWFUL mess?
We aren’t animals. We’re people. Start acting like it.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
