I’ve been doing this thing lately where I assign every letter of the alphabet a corresponding number (A=1, B=2, C=3, etc.) in terms of its respective order.
When taking the letters “M.I.K.E.” and adding them together, the sum is 38.
I need to find a woman whose first name is equal to 62. When I find that woman, I need to marry her.
Our first names will add up to equal the perfect 100.
How will I go about conquering such a foolhardy endeavor?
Well, I decided to schedule a campaign to do my work for me. I took a picture of my conversion chart, which I proceeded to post it on all my social media platforms, imploring those with a total score of 62 to reach out to me immediately.
Unfortunately, I received no responses that totaled 62. A few 57s here, a few 65s there, but alas, no 62.
This is where my workload is really going to pick up.
I now need to calculate all possible configurations of letters that add up to 62. At that point, I must form as many anagrams for each possibility as possible, ideally recreating female first names.
After I’ve established a list of potential female names (it’ll probably take a few years to come up with more than a dozen), I’ll be able to start searching for my soulmate. I will only pursue those women whose first names qualify, shortly after which I’ll have to beg for their hands in marriage before they leave me, forcing me to come up with more names that equal that “oh-so-coveted” 62.
If your first name (I’ll even take a nickname) is equal to 62, please email me right away.
mike@bloodclotfilms.com
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
