At any given time, I am running multiple long-term endeavors/goals/schemes (e.g.s. – “EGGS”)
Right now, one of my multiple long terms “eggs” that I’ve been working on for about 4 months is collecting signatures.
For many of you, the details of this scheme will be news to you (sorry).
I always carry around a little notebook with me. In this notebook, I write funny ideas I have, jokes I come up with, math problems that I pose to myself, anagrams in progress, etc. Over the last 4 months, I may have been using this notebook for something more sinister.
As many of you know, I always carry around a Pilot Metropolitan Fountain Pen (from Japan) that I boast about constantly. I also always convince people, with ease, to take the pen for a test run. When they ask where they can get a piece of paper to test it out (and they always do, every time, without fail), I offer them my notebook. When they ask what they should write (and again, they always do, every time, without fail), I say something like, “I guess, like, probably your signature or something.”
What happens next, I cannot say for legal reasons, but let’s just say, it’d be really funny if I added this signature to an ongoing list of more than 500 signatures that I’ve amassed over the past 140 days. It’d also be really funny if I used “Lighting Black Latent Fingerprint Powder” (a 2-Ounce bottle that I also carry everywhere and can be purchased on Amazon), as well as a “Zephyr Fiberglass Fingerprint Brush” (which I also carry everywhere, and which can also be purchased on Amazon), to effectively gather all necessary information that would, hypothetically, allow me to choose and usurp an identity of my choice from a running list of over 500 people in the event that I’m forced to flee the country).
That’d be really funny. Wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t that be really funny?
Fortunately for these 500+ individuals, I lack the necessary technology and resources to pull off a complex maneuver like this (though all necessary materials are available on Amazon for less than the price of a 24-pack of Bounty Toilet Paper), so feel free to test out my Pilot Metropolitan Fountain Pen (from Japan) in my notebook. You could write, I guess, like, probably your signature or something. Be at ease knowing your signature (or whatever you write- your Social Security number, your mother’s maiden name, your passport identification number– whatever) is safe and sound with me.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & CO-Founder
