Living in New York, the subway has become part of the routine for us. Unfortunately, riding the subway invariably results in skyrocketing levels of discomfort, and last night was no exception. 7 subway lines end in Brooklyn. Not wanting to disclose the nature of my location to the general public, I won’t specify any further.
When riding the subway to the end of the line, something magical happens.
When those subway doors open, there’s always at least one or two individuals who remain seated with their eyes closed.
The way I see it, there are three possibilities.
The First Possibility has the happiest outcome: the person is sleeping. After waking him/her, he/she thanks you profusely for your generous act of kindness, proceeding to jump up and exit the train.
The Second Possibility has a slightly less happy outcome: the person is homeless. After waking him/her, he/she angrily growls at you before returning to a deep slumber.
The Third Possibility has probably the least happy outcome: the person’s heart ceases to pump blood throughout the body. After (attempting to) wake him/her, you realize he/she is not waking up. At this point, you begin to question whether, God forbid, this is a case of the Third Possibility, or whether the situation is simply an exaggerated case of the First Possibility or the Second Possibility.
Lacking any true knowledge of CPR, you exit the train. Thankfully, there’s a Police Officer further down the platform. Calmly, you approach him. “Hey, just so you know, there’s a woman 2 cars down. She’s either sleeping or dead. Have a good night, Officer!”
Congratulations! Your civic duty has been completed.
If the person was in fact sleeping, homeowner or homeless, you can rest easy at night knowing you helped a blissfully unaware stranger.
If the person did, in fact, pass on to the next life, you have absolutely no obligation to attend any service, but you may (and likely will) continue to have nightmares for the next few years about the corpse’s cold, stiff, lifeless hands that you tapped while whispering “miss, it’s the last stop,” followed by feeling her neck for a pulse, followed by a jerking recoil at the realization that there her pulse was nowhere to be found, followed by vomiting in the gap between the train and the platform and stumbling out of the train.
Until next time,
Michael J. Erickson, CEO & Co-Founder
